Jenrez

To the Fucker(s) that Stole My Wallet Last Night

I can only imagine the sly smile on your face as you lifted the cover to my bag that was hanging on the back of my chair while I was studying. The pure confidence you must have to know I wouldn't feel your presence as you lifted my wallet. A living shadow. You must be, as the cashiers at Jewel and Target let you go through 23 times with 3 different credit cards and my check card. Really, Fucker(s), I want you to know my sincerity in wishing you all the luck in the world as you gamble all of my money away at Harrah's Casino. I really hope you have a great time in Joliet. I hope you didn't try to skimp on the room choice on my account.

Maybe one thing that you didn't know as you scoped my innocent face out among the many at Filter last night, is that I don't give up easily. I have every recorded time that a fraudulent transaction took place. Target, Jewel and Harrah's casino have one thing in common: they all have security cameras. I even know your room number at the casino hotel. Did you really think I would give you $4000 without a fight?

I arise in the morning torn between a desire to sleep more, and a desire to sleep more.

"If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world, and a desire to enjoy the world.  This makes it hard to plan the day."  -- E. B. White

Artsy Fartsy

My boss just tried to rationalize to me that the color red is a cool color and blues/greens are warm colors because red symbolizes anger.

And I thought I had no artistic ability... but maybe it's that I have no imagination either.

Bad Day? No, No.. Bad Week, Let's Say

• Financial Woes - Overspent Before Xmas and Stupidly Paid Down Too Much on a Credit Account This Month
• Car Accident With Racist Driver
• Stupid Boss Going Through My Shit Last Night Including My Locked Drawer
• Ensuing Cold + PMS
• Stupid Car Towed After Roommate Told Me I Could Use Her Car To Go To My Final Tomorrow Followed By Voicemail From Roommate Telling Me I Can't
• $50 Ticket On My Car This Morning For Old Registration - Totally Forgot
• More Financial Woes: Must Pay Ticket + Rental Car + Registration Fees + $500 Deductible

Thank God For Moms.

Thanks are in Order

Thanks to Dooce for my new addiction to Making Everything a Title.

Also of note: Thanks to the guy in Step 6 for not sleeping with me Saturday night. Now I only have a small number of things to regret.

Chucky's Back

I recently purchased myself a Genuine 9.6V Battery Powered Drill (drill bit included).  This is part of the Tear the House Apart in Order to Fix it Up Program.  I unpacked my shelving, my curtain rod, my level, the stud finder and finally prepared the walls to be drilled with small exes.  I even used pen; nothing erasable necessary.  Feeding more of my empowerment, I then unpacked the Genuine 9.6V Battery Powered Drill with wide eyes and found to my dismay that there must be a piece missing.  There was no where to put the drill bit included! 

After poking and prodding at The 9.6V, I searched high and low across the apartment hoping for some piece of evidence of this thing called The Chuck that they show in the directions that totally wasn’t there.  After several minutes of pacing and cursing Chuck, I concluded that it would be best to just get drunk and forget about it and go to the hardware store the next day and exchange it.

The following morning, after I packed the drill back up and put it in my car still sulking about Chuck and where the hell did he go? And who the hell named him anyway? I went into work and told my boss all about how I got screwed over with a Chuckless Drill.  Then he showed me what a Chuck was.  DAMMIT, I was so close to my independence. 

Thom, I love you, but Jesus.

I just about choked on my food a second ago. Someone, at 7:17AM, searched on google and found my blog.

Apparently, I have telling information about "Thom Yorke and herpes."

To Whom It May Concern:

I hope the nightmare wasn't that bad.

Jen

Frodo?

I had a dream last night. Bizarre dream. I was walking down Earl Street toward the house I haven’t lived in since I was 11, like it was still home. I think there was someone with me, because I remember saying, “let’s stop by the B35’s.” Apparently, B35’s are a really nice set of headphones. These stunning headphones are ones that are hooked up to a tree because, well, that makes sense.

My ex-boyfriend is on the receiving end of these headphones, though I’m not sure if that is true all of the time. He was speaking to me from a set of B35’s in Minnesota, where he is in law school now. However, he was not in the University of Minnesota’s library studying, instead he was in Minnesotan wilderness talking through his set of B35’s from another tree. This dream shot of him talking to the tree was quite beautiful… a full sweeping shot like you might see in Lord of the Rings over New Zealand’s landscape. That’s all I remember. I think that may be all I want to remember.

Fat lazy beotch, ahem... I mean Jen.

New Years Resolutions:

1. Get out of bed at 7am instead of snoozing for an hour and a half.
2. Run every morning. Really.
3. Lose 25 pounds. Really.
4. Stop drinking so goddamn much.
5. Stop smoking so goddamn much.
6. Start drinking those 64 oz of water a day.
7. Stop biting nails.
8. Clean the car... for the love of god, you can't see through the windows anymore.
9. Start saving money.
10. Take more photographs.
11. Stop eating so much chocolate, have sex instead.

y tu?

Girl, Boy, Boy, Girl

I think like a girl, do you?